How to pull on a night out, from first look to taxi rank

Knowing how to pull isn't a talent you're born with. It's a handful of small, learnable habits: going out in the right frame of mind, noticing who's actually interested, saying something easy, and knowing when to suggest leaving. Most people who "never pull" are doing one of those badly, usually the noticing. These pulling tips walk through the whole thing, from getting ready to the moment you're both in the back of a cab, and it's the same advice whether you want to know how to pull a girl, how to pull a guy, or how to get lucky with whoever catches your eye.

How to pull starts before you leave the house

The night is half decided by the time you get to the first bar. Three things matter.

Your mood. People are drawn to someone who's clearly enjoying themselves. If you walk in on a mission, scanning the room like a bouncer, you'll give off exactly that. Go out to have a good night with your mates first. Pulling is a bonus that tends to land on people who aren't chasing it.

Who you go with. Mates who'll back you up are gold. Mates who drag you away every time you're mid-conversation, or who need babysitting by ten, are not. Pick your crew with the same care you pick your shirt.

How much you drink before you go. Pre-drinks are tradition, but there's a sweet spot. One or two loosens you up. Five makes you the person everyone moves away from at the bar. You want to be relaxed enough to talk to a stranger and sharp enough to read their face when you do.

Reading the room: who's actually up for it

This is the bit most people get wrong. They decide who they fancy, then try to make it happen, instead of noticing who's already interested. Interest usually shows itself in small, repeated ways:

Eye contact that lasts a beat too long, and then comes back. Once is an accident. Three times is an invitation.
They drift into your orbit. Standing near your group at the bar, ending up next to you in the smoking area, appearing on the dance floor a few feet away more than once.
Their body points at you. Shoulders and feet turned your way while they talk to someone else.
They laugh a little more than the joke deserves, or touch your arm when they do.
They stay when their friends move. If the group heads off and they find a reason to hang back, that's not about the drink they're finishing.

If someone's giving you short answers, looking over your shoulder or turning back to their friends, take it graciously and move on. That's not rejection. It's information, and it saves you both an awkward twenty minutes.

The opener that actually works

Forget lines. Anything that sounds rehearsed lands like a sales call. The opener that works is a simple comment about something you're both looking at, said with a smile: the queue at the bar, the song that's just come on, the mate of theirs who's been dancing alone for an hour. Then introduce yourself by name. That's it. The words barely matter. Tone, eye contact and a relaxed face do ninety per cent of the work.

The other half is knowing how to leave a conversation. Chat for a few minutes, then say you're heading back to your friends and you'll catch them later. Leaving while it's going well makes you more interesting, not less, and if they come and find you later, you know exactly where you stand.

How to pull a girl without being that guy

Every woman on a night out has met him: the one who won't take a hint, gets handsy on the dance floor or turns nasty when she says no. The bar is low, and clearing it puts you ahead of half the room. Be direct and friendly. Keep your hands to yourself until you've been invited. Don't single someone out from a group of mates and try to peel her away; win the group over and she'll relax. And if she's not interested, smile, wish her a good night and mean it. Her friends will notice, and so will the rest of the bar.

How to pull a guy

Honestly? Say something. Men are notoriously bad at reading signals, so the long looks and drifting closer that work on everyone else can sail straight over his head. A clear move works far better: ask him to settle an argument, tell him you like his shirt, ask if he's dancing or just guarding the table. Most men are flattered to be approached, and plenty of them have spent the night trying to work up the nerve to approach you.

The kiss: knowing when to go for it

There's a moment in every good pull when the talking starts to get in the way. You're standing closer than you need to, the conversation keeps trailing off into eye contact, and one of you is looking at the other's mouth rather than their eyes. That's your cue. Slow down, hold the look, and lean in about two thirds of the way. Let them close the gap. If they do, you'll know exactly where you stand. If they lean back, smile, carry on talking, and no harm done.

The kiss changes the rest of the night. A good one, somewhere at the edge of the dance floor or out in the cold, turns two people who were flirting into two people who are leaving together. The same rules apply whoever you fancy: read the signals, give them room to say yes, and enjoy it when they do.

Moving it on: from the bar to somewhere quieter

If the chat's flowing, suggest a change of scene: a quieter corner, the smoking area, a different bar. Moving together is a small step that tells you both a lot. If they come with you, things are going well. From there, the question of "yours or mine?" tends to ask itself, but say it out loud anyway. Clear, sober-enough agreement from both of you is the only kind that counts. If either of you is too drunk to decide, swap numbers and pick it up tomorrow. The best hookups are the ones you both remember.

When the night doesn't deliver: how to get lucky anyway

Even good pullers have nights when nothing clicks: everyone's coupled up, it's someone's leaving do, or you're simply not feeling it. That's exactly why so many people run both games at once. They go out, enjoy themselves, and keep a conversation going on the hookup site for nights out in their pocket. If the bar comes good, brilliant. If it doesn't, there's someone nearby who's already said they're interested, and that's a very easy way to know how to get lucky tonight.

And if you're picking where to go out in the first place, we've picked out the best UK cities to pull in, with the streets that stay lively late and the nights each one does best.

Pulling questions people actually ask

How do you know if someone wants to pull you?

Look for repeated signals rather than one. Eye contact that keeps coming back, them ending up near you more than once, their body turned your way, laughing easily and touching your arm. One of these could mean anything. Three or four together, especially when their friends drift off and they stay put, is about as clear as it gets without them saying it.

What's the best night of the week to pull?

Friday and Saturday are busiest, but busiest isn't always easiest: groups stick together and the crowd is out with partners too. Thursday is a favourite in student cities and among people who'd rather skip the weekend crush. Bank holiday Sundays are famously loose. The real answer is whichever night you're most relaxed, because that's what people notice.

Is it easier to pull on your own or with mates?

With a small group of good mates, usually. You look sociable, you've got people to talk to between moves, and someone can chat to the friend while you chat to the person you like. Going out alone works for confident people, and it's common when travelling, but it can read as intense. Two or three of you is the sweet spot.

How do you pull in a club when it's too loud to talk?

Let your body do the talking first: dance nearby, catch their eye, smile, see if they move closer. When you want to talk, suggest a step outside or a trip to the bar where it's quieter. Keep it short and simple, a name and a question. Clubs reward boldness, so if the signals are there, make the move.

Skip the chase tonight

Someone near you has already said they're interested. All you have to do is say hello.

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